I'm not a woman so I can't report from experience, but my observations suggest that most feel insecure in a room with a very attractive woman, especially if she is charming and intelligent to boot, commanding the attention of men. This is particularly true if their significant other is with them. And, what goes for women also goes for men. As for another woman being viewed as potential competion based on hair color or any other single feature, that I can't comprehend. A man loves a woman because he goes for the whole package. So what if red hair is better than blonde?

: Sure Veronica can kick arse, but overall she's too girl next door to incur any real insecurity on another women's behalf. She just seems like the type who would never do that (it's her presence and her face) while Margie seems like the type who most definately would just because 1. She could and/or 2. It serves her purposes.

I agree with you here.

: Besides, not all women are insecure. I don't measure myself by other people. I measure myself by my own personal standards. If I meet them, I'm satisfied. It doesn't matter if Naomi Campbell walked into the same room with me, I'm not threatened.

Lots of people say that, but I really wonder how true it really is. I'm not as compeditive as I used to be only because I've learned to better assess situations and I've acquired a number of proven strategies. Therefore, I feel more comfortable. Still, there are going to be times that I measure myself against other people. I don't see how that can be avoided. I've used the tendency to my advantage. I was a left - handed fencer in black gloves and mask. Just about everyone in my club feared me, so they lost matches when they were quite capable of winning. In judo, I never sought to earn a belt because in competition every opponent thought, that with a white belt, I was just a novice. I could catch them by surprise.Sure, you might measure yourself against others, but, then again, they might measure themselves against you.

: Public Service Announcement: One's self esteem/security should not be tied up in other people (being as no matter what you do or say or look like, someone, somewhere will not approve), rather one's self. If you're with someone and feeling insecure just by another person's presence, chances are something is rotten in Denmark (the relationship) to begin with which makes the other partner (yes men can be just as theatened/insecure as women...occassionally even more) feel this way. If you are in a solid entanglement and you trust your partner not to stray (and are keeping him happy at home), other women/men should be a non-issue (assuming that your beloved is just not a total ho bag/arsehole to begin with).

Yeah, you are not going to please everyone, so don't try. And, your certainly right about solid relationships ( I love your choice of the term: "entanglement").

Steve Faust